Page 72 - BV3
P. 72








                       With this understanding we can clearly see that the omer count to Pentecost is not adversely
               affected in any way by the observance of a lunar calendar or reckoning for the weekly Sabbath.
               This is because God, in His infinite wisdom, designed it that way!





                        Joke of the Month!                     "Then, I had a big problem getting enough wood
                                                               for the ark, because there was a ban on cutting
                                                               trees to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince
                                                               the environmentalists and the U.S. Fish and Wild-
                The Lord spoke to Noah and said, "Noah, in six  life Service that I needed the wood to save the
                months I'm going to make it rain until the whole  owls, but they wouldn't let me catch them, so no
                world is covered with water and all the evil things  owls.
                are destroyed.
                                                               "Next, I started gathering up the animals but got
                "But I want to save a few good people and two of  sued by an animal rights group that objected to me
                every living thing on the planet. I am ordering you  taking along only two of each kind. Just when the
                to build an ark."                              suit got dismissed, the EPA notified me that I
                                                               couldn't complete the ark without filing an environ-
                And, in a flash of lightning, he delivered the speci-  mental impact statement on your proposed flood.
                fications for the ark. "OK," Noah said, trembling  They didn't take kindly to the idea that they had
                with fear and fumbling with the blueprints, "I'm  no jurisdiction over the conduct of a Supreme
                your man."                                     Being.

                "Six months and it starts to rain," thundered the  "Then, the Corps of Engineers wanted a map of
                Lord. "You better have My ark completed or learn  the proposed flood plan. I sent them a globe! Right
                to swim for a long, long time!"                now, I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the
                                                               Equal Opportunities Commission over how many
                Six months passed, the sky began to cloud up, and  minorities I'm supposed to hire.
                the rain began to fall in torrents. The Lord looked
                down and saw Noah sitting in his yard, weeping,  "The IRS has seized all my assets claiming that I
                and there was no ark.                          am trying to leave the country, and I just got a no-
                                                               tice from the state that I owe some kind of use tax.
                "Noah!" shouted the Lord, "where is My ark?" A  Really, I don't think I can finish the ark in less than
                lightning bolt crashed into the ground right beside  five years."
                Noah.
                                                               With that, the sky cleared, the sun began to shine,
                "Lord, please forgive me!" begged Noah. "I did my  and a rainbow arched across the sky. Noah looked
                best, but there were some big problems. First, I  up and smiled.
                had to get a building permit for the ark's construc-
                tion, but your plans did not meet their code. So, I  "You mean you are not going to destroy the
                had to hire an engineer to redo the plans, only to  world?" he asked hopefully.
                get into a long argument with him about whether to
                include a fire-sprinkler system."              "No," said the Lord, "I'm too late, the government
                                                               already has."
                "My neighbors objected, claiming that I was violat-
                ing zoning ordinances by building the ark in my
                front yard, so I had to get a variance from the city
                planning board.




                                                             72
   67   68   69   70   71   72   73   74   75   76   77